There are times in our lives when we get out of shape. We put on weight and don’t feel good about ourselves. It can happen to women and men. But with women the connection between self-esteem and physical appearance is a little closer.
What are the reasons that make us feel like we are losing control? There can be many and some of them I have experienced myself or have seen working with my clients. So let’s first dig a little deeper than the clothes that we are wearing. For many of us it happens when we through go some kind of emotional adjustment or pain. For example:
- when going through a relationship or marriage break-up
- when your loved one has died or is sick
- when you had an operation and your ability to move and exercise is reduced
- when you feel suffocated by the restrictions imposed on you
- when you have more “on your plate” than you can cope with
- when you feel inability to live the way you used to live, but are still unclear on what and how something has to change
To cope, we may reach for junk food, stimulants and sink temporarily into bad habits. We gain weight and feel even worse.
So what can we do when we feel lost, emotionally fragile or very low indeed?
Here are 6 practical tips to get you to a better place and start feeling more cheerful and confident again:
- Don’t look at anything that you are going through with overwhelming totality. View it more as a transformational evolution that is happening inside you right now. It takes place all the time , even when it is invisible at a first glance. So even if it feels to you like the ” end of the world”, know that this too shall pass. Most of the time your body and psyche will re-calibrate by itself . It will reach saturation level through negative emotions and junk food and will lose interest in it by itself. Or your mind and self-control will re-align. So don’t make it bigger than it is.
- Sometimes the best thing to do is to be gentle on yourself and ride it out. Any resistance often produces the opposite effect and gives it more power. Very often when I myself surrendered to something I couldn’t change but made me feel unhappy, I woke up in a day or two completely transformed. I can’t guarantee it will work for every one, but it will work or already worked for many.
- If you are feeling like you are falling into a downward spiral and it is becoming too dangerous for you, go to sleep or meditate. Sleep will get you out of this “moment” and you may wake up to an improved situation and rested enough to deal with it more positively and with resolve.
- More on meditation here. It allows you to observe yourself and your thoughts as if from outside of your own body. As if you are watching someone else. Everything loses it’s intensity and stops feeling so “real”. You start seeing that it is just your thoughts that you can let go one by one. And realise it as a dream, a movie or a game that has nothing to do with real you. You realise there is another “you” observing all of this. Meditation is an awesome tool that is at everyone’s disposal – at any time and free of charge!! It is a tool of self-realisation, self- preservation, self-transformation and self-discovery. More and more people realise and use it every day. You just close your eyes and switch-off. Start with small steps and one day you might even become awakened like Buddha!;) You may also find that you need less coffee or other stimulants and become more productive in you day. And it can assist you with depression as well. There are a lot of YouTube videos and apps to help you take the first step.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop comparing your body and physical characteristics to others. Stop comparing your life to others. We are all given completely different ‘bio costume” and set of genes from birth. We can only work and create with what we have got. It is a simple truth but needs to be reminded. Limit your time on social media only to absolutely necessary. It makes us unhappy when we abuse it and waste our time.
- Now, as a Personal Stylist , of course I could not complete these tips without mentioning one of my favourite tools (besides meditation) – Clothes and Your Personal Style. Regardless of what shape and weight you are right now , a well constructed wardrobe filled with flattering clothes that elevate your appearance, self-esteem and image, can be you “miracle pill” right now. Many people still don’t know what it feels like to have such a wardrobe at your disposal and how great it feels. You don’t have to overthink what to wear and how to combine things . You don’t doubt that you look fantastic even with a little extra weight or if you don’t have a “perfect body”. The bonus of improved mood often inspires you so much that bad habits start dissapearing on their own. It is as if you feel autonomous and good enough without these “extras”. You have more important things to do.
So if you feel like you are TRULLY READY to do something about your personal style , realise THE TIME IS RIGHT NOW and want my help, then I will be delighted to take your shopping or organise and clear out your wardrobe. It is a joy and great pleasure for me to help you go from a darker place to a place where you can feel great and look fantastic! 🙂
For more details click on the links below.
Kind regards,
Masha Bowran.XXX
Personal Stylist, Style Educator and Refiner.