Why to be yourself is the Real Power.
In the world where the majority are looking around at what others are doing and wearing , it is easy to lose the focus and our own perception on why we came into this world. At times we can lose ourselves completely as if our own unique vision is dissolving into the chaos of the outside world like sugar in a cup of tea.
Yet we are all so deeply unique with our special talents, skills and abilities as well as certain seeming “limitations. These limitations are often just as important as our natural abilities as they propel us to break the cycle and get a BREAKTHROUGH. This can be not only about the way we dress or shop for clothes, but also about our personal diet, exercize or relationship habits.
The society, our family and environment programs us into certain expectations and behaviours from the moment we are born. These expectations are often in mismatch with our personal values and don’t feel authentic. But this way, we are more easily controlled and manipulated , for example by the fashion and beauty industry. Yet we are free creative spirits by our birth right and we can’t all feel or function exactly the same. We also have different values and priorities, lifestyles and occupations. In terms of our physical appearance, we also come in various heights, sizes and body shapes.
My personal styling concept has always been about Personal Style being above Fashion. It is easier to see why if you understand the difference between Style, Fashion and Image.
Not many people ask themselves or think about it deep enough, but the main meanings are the following:
1.STYLE is about who you trully are ( your unique and authentic self-expression and personal values)
2.FASHION is about who you follow/worship ( clone-like outfits, dictated by luxury brands focused on maximising their profits through overblown price tags)
3.IMAGE – how you are or would like to be seen by others. It’s a bit like a mask we put on or a role that we play, a bit “actor-like”.
All 3 tools show ourselves and others WHAT WE PRESENT TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD and are a reflection of HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES INSIDE. As withIN … so withOUT. It is like two sides of the same coin and we simply can’t hide from it. We read it subconsciously about others too, even when we are not fully aware of the vibes someone is giving off.
So what happens when we are STYLE (not fashion) focused?
We feel as an independent, unique and valuable person. Not afraid to have an opinion and our own creative ideas. Not desperate to stand out but capable occupying the space and centre stage if needed.
Our style can be understated and very subtle but may include some bespoke or unique accessories or pieces. Our style is very adaptable and fluid. It can make us blend in if we want or can make a specific statement. It places us outside the trends, yet looks modern, contemporary and timeless. We understand our own physical features and how to make the most of it.
Visual aesthetic, the quality of fabric and garment execution, comfort in wearing and versatility of our wardrobe are paramount. When developing authentic style is our goal, we develop a very good eye for detail , colour and composition. And often can become trend-setters for others without even trying to be such. Our main motivation is self-sufficiency and nor someone else’s approval. Our self- esteem comes from within, from our ability to be honest with ourselves and our own creative vision. How others react to us will not change who we are or what we want to wear. We judge the price tag vs it’s real value for our lifestyle and appearance when making a decision to buy clothes or not. We shop smarter, buy what we need and enjoy and value our money and time. We also don’t judge others by their clothes price tags and don’t believe in false society’s hierarchy. We understand that everyone deserves respect regardless of where they are in their life.
When we are FASHION focused , we become an easy target for fashion industry and the idea of social hierarchy. We are desperate to fit- in with the clone-like majority and their trends. The deciding factors are usually not the aesthetic beauty or comfort, but how much status symbol the item can give you in the eyes of others. Often trends that are unflattering for our particular body shape , sometimes even plain ugly or vulgar, extremely oversized or unisex items are often bought and worn. The price tags are usually overinflated by endorsing celebrities for advertising. The pricier or the more “covered” item is by others, the more we desire it. The trends are usually short-lived and stop being relevant very quickly. They are also not versatile enough to last as the fashion industry ‘s goal is to capitalise on making us want and buy more and more. This fuels insatiable appetite for new clothes and doesn’t satisfy long-term. We are blindly chasing fashion instead of taking an honest look at our own appearance, natural beauty and body shape advantages and disadvantages. Focusing on what is popular and looking around too much, we are not sure of ourselves and our self-confidence is more dependable on the support of others or lack of it.
If IMAGE is our focus, it is usually occupation or brand specific. The brand can be our company brand or our personal brand as a freelancer or a creative. It is more like a MASK (-) OR ROLE (+) that we put on every now and then or for a few hours a day. But it’s not who we truly and fully are. Having an IMAGE is not bad by itself and can help us play out certain responsibilities in life and activate certain qualities in us. But it only works if we are comfortable in this ROLE, if this role feels ours. Then it has a positive impact on our life vs negative sense that comes with feeling not in your place and like you have to put a MASK on to be safe. Image is not something that we wear 24/7 as we need time away and its vital for us to recharge from playing specific role.
The most important message that l want to convey here is that we can really come into full power ONLY BY BEING OURSELF and trusting our own judgement.
So ask yourself where you stand in terms of these categories and what is more important to you. Being aware of your own patterns and shining the light on them is the beginning to being yourself!;
If you want to focus more on developing your own style, all School of Style services are all designed to as your available tools to achieve it.